So, first, to recap Lyra's birth experience for comparison and reference. She was born at a birth center in Alaska. I went into labor early one morning and had her by dinnertime on her due date. I dilated fully in about 6 hours (pretty fast for a first time mom) but pushed for 5 (an eternity for anyone who's been there), so a total of about 11 hours of labor. My contractions were always pretty close together, I never had long break times maybe 4 or 5 minutes at most. I didn't have any significant complications, no meds, no tearing, a bit of extra bleeding after birth but my uterus was tired. Almost transferred to the hospital due to the extended pushing but didn't have to. The full story is both on my own blog and on my birth photographer's blog with pictures to go along with it.
Normally, subsequent babies come faster and earlier than first babies so everyone kind of thought this boy would follow that. Especially because I had such an early positive pregnancy tests and all his ultrasounds showing he measured early. NOPE. Side fact, I had an irritable uterus with Lyra and had Braxton Hicks contractions constantly, especially at the end. Usually with subsequent pregnancies that's also worse. But I actually had less with this guy.
So when all my due date guesses passed me by and I was still pregnant, I was very surprised. And frankly, quite displeased. I was 100% more ready to be done with pregnancy than I ever was with Lyra and I felt terrible and sore and exhausted. I didn't want to medically induce for anything other than a health reason or if I got all the way to 42 weeks. But I had a few timelines and his due date was a little questionable. On Thursday the 27th I went in for my last appointments. I was somewhere between 40 weeks and 1 day at minimum and 41 weeks and 1 day. My best guess given all the factors was that I was 40 weeks and 5 days.
My OB did an ultrasound and monitored the baby and deemed him just fine in there. I had him check my cervix and I was 3cm dilated, 80% effaced and baby was at -1 station. I wanted to know a starting point and to have an idea if things were favorable should I need to induce. Basically the verdict was, "Not bad, I'll take that." I also had him sweep my membranes. Basically detach the amniotic sac right around the cervix to try and get a hormonal reaction to jump start labor. My OB was on call and suggested induction the following Thursday (42 and 1 by his timeline). He wasn't pushy at all and it was a reasonable suggestion on his part but I was hoping to not get to that point.
Factoring in when the OB suggested inducing, that Travis was just starting his weekend, my mom couldn't stick around indefinitely to help, and Amy (Travis' mom, an OB nurse) was also trying to make it to Travis' sisters birth in Portland (we were due the same time because why wouldn't that happen), we decided to try some at home labor inducing tricks. I went with the non invasive lowest risk things that appeared to have some evidence that they actually work and don't raise your risks for c-sections, inductions, distressed baby, etc. I went home and tried to bring on some contractions by using a breast pump. Didn't work really, caused some super mild ones while I used it but they disappeared really quick afterwards. Finally, I took my midwife's suggested castor oil recipe and tried to go to bed hoping labor would start in a couple hours. I felt mildly nauseous but other than that not much happened and I was just figuring nothing would happen that night.
Then around 11:30 I started thinking I was feeling some mild contractions every few minutes I also started to have a little bit of bleeding. We woke up Amy and called our midwife out shortly after that. Neither Amy or our midwife were terribly concerned about the bleeding, just something to watch at that point but it spooked me a little more and I was glad I had them both there to watch me. I mostly labored on my yoga ball or standing and used my baby wrap that Travis rigged as a rebozo to hang from the ceiling. Probably one of my favorite ways to get through contractions. After another hour or so we called out the doula and birth photographer. That's also when we woke up my mother, we initially didn't so that she would be a little more rested than we were to be Lyra's person when she woke in the morning.
My sense of time gets a little fuzzy after that point because labor started to get more intense. I started to have heavier bleeding and began passing a few clots so I started to feel a bit panicky. I was still having bleeding that was "the upper end of normal." Then I felt what seemed like a giant clot (I believe it was somewhere around apple sized but it's hard to tell with those things) and I pretty much made up my mind things were not ok anymore. The midwife asked to check my dilation (something that hadn't been done yet since seeing the OB). At the same time my contractions had hit a new level of intense that was worse than anything I'd experienced with Lyra. I also started to feel pushy and have some of the contractions where I couldn't stop my body from pushing involuntarily. So I was expecting to hear I was very close to fully dilated. At this point I think it was around 5:30 to 6 am so I'd been in labor for as long as it took me to fully dilate with Lyra.
However, when the midwife checked I was only 5 cm. And I knew I had started at a 3. So there I was, passing some big clots that were so terrifying to me. Both Amy and my midwife were trying to reassure me that while the bleeding wasn't normal or great, I wasn't dying and the baby was doing well but we started to discuss the plan for what to do next.
In hindsight part of what happened for me was that all the blood and clots took me straight back to my last traumatic miscarriage. It physically felt the same, passing those clots, and happened in the same area of the house. I didn't think through that at the time and no way could I have vocalized that that was part of my mindset and decision making process but talking to Travis after the fact made me pretty sure that was a good portion of it. I was prepared for some level of sadness or triggering during labor, but bleeding like that didn't actually cross my mind. I knew you could bleed but didn't know you could bleed like that and be ok.
Another big factor was that my pain level was crazy. I'd done unmedicated labor with Lyra and this was a whole different level. So I was bleeding and freaked out, experiencing pain like I never had in labor before, and super stressed that I was starting to push uncontrollably when I'd made hardly any progress and was nowhere near ready for pushing. I also knew I couldn't make it through a slow labor like that without pain meds. I wanted an ambulance to take me to the hospital and get me all the drugs and stop the bleeding asap. With Lyra's birth I did eventually want meds and was debating a transfer because I wasn't sure I was getting her out. But there was much more of a debate and I was more indecisive. This time I was decided in a second and it just took me a bit to convince everyone that's what I wanted and needed. I'm still surprised by my conviction tobe honest. It took a minute for everything to be organized but we got an ambulance there and everyone scrambled to transfer.
Really at this point is the part that is funniest in hindsight. So I've been laying on the bed for a bit, I have nothing on from the waist down and I haven't really been able to move positions on my own, being ginormously pregnant and having a baby head low in my pelvis and intense contractions and all. There's some debate about how to get me out to the ambulance, I hear talk about taking down the 3 baby gates. Everyone is busy making plans about how everyone is getting there, what to take along, how and when to bring Lyra (she is somehow miraculously sleeping through all this) and I'm in one track mind mode. I am in more pain than I've ever been in my life, I'm bleeding, trying not to push, and I want to be in an ambulance on my way to drugs at the hospital, like, an hour ago. I also am 100% motivated to make it to the front door in one shot between contractions. No way in hell am I having one in the hallway. That's the worst, I like to be set up in a comfortable position during a contraction. Then I had a big contraction where I pushed and felt another bloody gush and was horrified and basically kicked into flight mode. So everyone helps me up, expecting to assist me in putting on a skirt or something, gathering my stuff and getting me to the front door. But the second I am up, I take off. Travis stopped to get shoes and I'm like, "Where the fuck are you, I need you right now. Keep up." My photographer and doula were laughing about it later saying everyone was basically chasing me down the hall because no one expected me to move so fast. Next thing I'm really aware of is being right at my open front door at nearly 7 in the morning, half naked, with paramedics I don't know (but Travis has met/will meet being a volunteer firefighter) screaming about how I'm pushing, I need a bucket (I was afraid the pushing was making a mess) and I want to get in the ambulance. People are tying to offer me clothes or a sheet to cover with to get in the ambulance, and I give zero fucks.
I make it into the ambulance with a sheet wrapped around me somehow and Travis is allowed in the back with me. I'm not sure if this is because he mentioned the firefighter thing or after my vocalizing through a contraction and kinda freaking out the paramedic decided he didn't want to be alone back there with me either. In any case as they're setting me up to go I feel a huge gush. I think it's blood and am really starting to panic. The paramedic tells me its very clear and it's my water, there's no blood. He lifts the sheet, looks between my legs and says, "Alright, looks like baby is going to come here after all." And starts talking about getting the midwife or OB nurse in here. I'm absolutely not comprehending any of this. I'm still about 15 seconds behind and I don't understand that I'm not bleeding and I'm thinking I'm only 5 cm and these guys don't know anything. Travis explained later that what he and the paramedic saw was part of the still water filled amniotic sac starting to come out and that my waters did indeed break. It was a slower leak than I had with Lyra and I didn't feel the pop I did with her or my last miscarriage so I didn't recognize it.
So somehow in the time between being checked in my bed and my mad dash to the ambulance I'd dilated the other 5 cm. In hindsight that's probably why the pain was so extreme. And the bleeding was from the rapid cervical change as well. Amy had reassured me I was making the right choice to transfer earlier with the bleeding when I was so far from the hospital and wasn't close to complete. If I would have known that I was almost done I would have probably felt a little better too, but no one could predict that. And it makes more sense why I felt pushy.
So anyway, we only know it was nearly 7 am when I started pushing because that's when Travis tried to call and get someone in the ambulance. Somehow his mom ends up in the back of the ambulance and she's the one who convinces me that I'm no longer bleeding and I'm fully dilated and can push because I know she at least has experience with this that the paramedics don't. And I should make it clear that the paramedics really were great. They originally didn't want anyone in the back with me and then basically followed Amy's lead with helping me and that's exactly what I needed. Not to mention they got an IV line in first try during a contraction, that took some serious skill. And so then I pushed all the way to Reno. At that point I felt a bit dumb because I wasn't at home. I had been wanting to watch the sunrise before things got intense and I guess I kind of got my wish as I'm watching the sun rise in between my legs out the ambulance windows between pushes.
Sometimes I wish I was a little less dramatic. Like when we roll into the hospital and I'm screaming mid push all movie birth style. I was definitely louder and swore a lot more with this labor. But sometimes I just can't help it. So we make it to a room and get me on the bed. Luckily, the birth photographer we went with was already in the room (she works at the hospital, conveniently). My doula was there as well but I'm fuzzy on more details as I couldn't see without my glasses and I was deep into labor zone. My midwife was there as well but I have no memory of when or how everyone arrived. At first the nurses told me to stop pushing and wait for the OB. I didn't even bother explaining that wasn't a possibility and I heard Amy tell them for me. My OB wasn't going to make it on time so his partner (who I hadn't met) was the OB they brought in. There was one single comment she made that made me angry but didn't turn into an issue. I asked to change positions because I was hoping to get the baby moving down faster. I actually like pushing on my back laying down in bed, which isn't generally a very effective way to push and I always assumed I'd want to avoid before I gave birth. But it's the only way I feel like I have a chance to rest and it just works for me to deliver. Anyway though I asked to change, I think I said hands and knees because it seemed doable and I wouldn't have to move far. Someone suggested standing leaning over the bed. The OB made a rude comment along the lines of "That's fine, as long as she knows she's delivering in bed. The last time I had a midwife transfer and she tried to deliver standing the baby fell on the floor and had a fourth degree." I was braced for potentially clashing with this OB so I wasn't bothered other than I wish I could have been in a position to say what I thought about that. I don't like being told what I'm "allowed" like that or being bullied and scared into things. Plus, I wasn't actually fighting to deliver like that. In any case, I just ignored it and kept pushing. I tried on my knees leaning over the back of the bed for a bit but then wanted to lay down again pretty quickly.
It seemed like forever but I really only pushed for a little under 2 hours which was so much better than the 5 I had with Lyra. The second scary part was after I got Oswin's head out everyone started telling me I had to stop pushing because he had a really tight double wrapped nuchal cord. Meaning it was around his neck really tightly twice. It took everyone by surprise because he had a great heart rate during labor. Luckily, I was able to comprehend what was happening and stop pushing. That takes some effort.
And as an aside, this is where I have a huge problem with OBs like the one I was delivering with. I want feeling very inclined to listen to her advice after her comments earlier. I had enough people I trusted telling me to stop pushing and was aware enough to realize what was happening. All it would have taken was a "I'd prefer you stay in the bed to deliver, it's how I feel I can help you deliver safely," would have changed my entire perception of her. No need to jump straight to scare tactics. This is why I like the OB we picked so much, he treats you like you're capable and have a right to make decisions as long as he says his opinions and passes on the facts, he's pretty ok about going with your plan.
Back to delivery, I had planned on delaying cord clamping but it had to be cut off before I could even finish delivering him. But I mean, breathing is pretty important. I got to hold him for about 10 minutes but honestly didn't get a good look at him because we were both a little stunned and he was up high on my chest. Then he just wasn't pinking up very well and they took him across the room for at least 20 minutes, timing is fuzzy but it was a long time for me. I still couldn't see and Travis went with Oswin. I had my doula, midwife, birth photographer and Amy all with me and everyone was in a good mood the whole time so it was clear Oswin was going to be fine but it's not a good feeling to be worried about your baby who is struggling and you've been waiting for so long to hold him.
Travis explained afterwards what all happened. He had pretty high APGARS but pretty mottled color. They took a pulse ox and he was mid 80s when they want over 90. They ended up using a CPAP and deep suction to clear out fluid from his lungs and get him breathing better. They also did his newborn stuff and got his stats and what not. Luckily, they didn't have to take him to the NICU at all and he ended up back with me after a while.
The timing ended up working well where Lyra and my mom were concerned. They showed up (with my glasses) to meet Oswin shortly before we moved to the postpartum room for our 24 hour stay. The rest of the time there was pretty unremarkable. We were able to go home a little over 24 hours later and thus far things are going pretty smooth for adjusting to life with a toddler and a newborn. He was worth all the wait and the trouble but I'm so ready to not be pregnant for a while. So far Oswin is an easy new little dude and my recovery is going even better than I hoped for. Probably just jinxed it all but guess we'll just see what the next few weeks bring. I'm already working on some postpartum posts but this one is long enough as is!
