Moving Update

Well it has been craaaaaazy the past few weeks. Non-stop planning, organizing, packing, dealing with various things that crop up last minute. Adverse weather, car repair, sick kids, you name it. I had to have dental work done, my glasses are held together with hot glue right now. It has been stupid busy. We made it to Colorado, obviously, and the kids, animals, and I are staying with my parents and Travis is a few hours away.

The 2 days we had movers were pretty rough. I've had much better experiences with movers, I'll just leave it at that. I was concerned we wouldn't get things done in time and we had plans to leave and hotels booked. I think Travis had worse once, but I wasn't there, I was on an oil rig on the slope. Oswin was an angel and napped in the wrap all day, but after a few hours that is extremely tiring even when it's going well. The second day, when everything was being loaded so doors were open all day, was quite cold and had some rain and bad weather. I felt bad for the animals. Kitty spent the day in her kennel, Roxi was locked in the front seat of my car, and Dinger had to be unceremoniously shoved in a coat closet for hours. I'd planned on having the dogs outside but not in the rain.

The actual trip here wasn't awful. Travis took the animals and booked it in 2 days so we didn't see him much. Oswin hates the car, so I was concerned, but he really only cried 3 or 4 times over the 3 day drive and just for 10 or 15 minutes. Lyra, on the other hand, was the actual devil. I expected her to be a pro traveler like the last time we did this drive. I think she was mainly stressed with a side of not feeling great. It was understandable but awful to deal with. She's nearly back to normal now minus an urgent care trip for a weird rash and sore throat that the pediatrician was concerned was scarlett fever. I never knew kids could just get viral rashes. It's happened at least twice now. Someone should tell you that before you have kids. The weather was ok for us, there was a couple hours of dicey wind and blowing snow with some icy roads on the very last day, but we made it.

Lyra provided some comic relief when she wasn't channelling Satan. I made a comment one evening about how thirsty I was. She piped up with, "Mama, you thirsty for beer??" Why, yes, yes I am, after 2 long days of driving with children. She also made up a song at one point. We can't figure out the words she's saying but it sure sounds like she's singing about boobies. Who knows.

It only took me a couple weeks to decide I was done with this parenting alone thing. Now my parents are helpful with the kids, but it's just a different dynamic. I had to take Lyra to the urgent care (we have both an ER and an urgent care visit on the books for this ove because of course it can't be low stress and uncomplicated) and my mom came along to help. However, once Lyra had a strep test and Oswin needed to nurse, I ended up with one kid on each knee, despite having backup. Having help is great, it really is, but it doesn't beat having the other parent around.

We spent a good amount of time scouring zillow and craigslist looking for rentals. I made lots of calls and sent emails and checked with random acquaintances. I looked into tiny houses, busses, airbnb's, and pretty much everything we could think of. The problem was the pets plus needing something short term. Buying sooner rather than later is easier with a relocation program. And no one wants to rent to you if you have a cat AND a large dog. Sometimes you find one or the other but rarely both.

So that brings us to the next adventure. 576 square feet, one bedroom, one bathroom, two kids, a cat, and a dog. Technically it isn't a tiny house, those are smaller than 500 square feet. But it is pretty small. On par with my first couple apartments. Dinger has to stay with my parents. Finding a short term rental is hard. Add on a cat and a small dog and it's even harder. A large dog in top of that has proved to be impossible. I love my family and I don't mind living with them, but having Travis nearly 4 hours away just isn't very doable long term. So we will be renting a tiny place until we sell and get a new house. We will be borrowing a lot of my parents stuff (it's ok, they have spares plus my brother left his stuff here and ran off to Spain. They have 9 peanut butters. NINE. That I've found.) and probably buying a duplicate thing or two while everything from our house (that didn't come in the cars with us) is in storage. Like coffee, that's probably our biggest indulgence. We have an espresso machine but while that's in storage we're getting a cold brew and a coffee siphon. Because we really like our daily caffeine to be high quality.

Peanut butter

Travis always said he never wanted a tiny house. Or to live close to his in-laws (just kidding). Travis also didn't want a cat. Or a small dog. Yet here we are.  Poor guy.

Anyway, that mini move is next weekend. Wish us luck and lend us a sleeper sofa or a loveseat for a few months. Only kind of kidding.

For now, the kids are enjoying being around the grandparents and uncle Chris. Lyra is so sweet with Chris, it's funny to watch them interact. He sticks up for her when we try and tell her to drink her water or eat her food or do quiet time or whatever. And she will very happily help bring him things or hand him things or play games and do crafts with him.

 I'm anxious to get settled into our own space a little more. It's hard to make a new routine with kids and I think it will be good to get them to their own home with mom and dad and start making new friends and getting to know our new town. We will visit the grandparents a lot. The next weekend when we visit, there will be 7 adults, 2 kids, 4 dogs, and 1 cat. Plus, my dad promised Lyra a fish. Also, it's always just kind of crazy around here. Today for example, one of the dogs brought home a pig head. And a flock of turkeys came to visit.

The dead pig head.

Turkeys. At least 15 of them. 

They won't miss us around here when we move out. Plus, we'll be back.

Logistics and Anxieties

Moving preparations are fully underway. This weekend is our last chance to get things done around here with all 4 of us here. Then professional cleaners and photographers will be here next week and we will finally officially have the house on the market. The following weekend Travis will fly to Colorado and start work, living in temporary housing for a bit. In other words, a hotel. My dad (who will have been enjoying a quiet retired life for a full 5 days) will fly out here and help me with the kids and pets for a week and a half. Then movers will be here for a couple days, Travis will fly back and take the animals in one car and my dad and I will drive the second car with children. Travis is driving in 2 days so he can drop the animals off at my parents house and get back to work. My dad and I are opting for a 3 day drive. That will average to about 5 hours driving a day plus I figure an addition 3, realistically, for stopping and changing diapers and feeding babies. The kids and animals and I will be staying with my parents for a bit. So that will be a mad house. 4 adults, 1 toddler, 1 infant, 4 dogs, and 1 cat.

Trying to plan for what we need to take with us for an unknown number of weeks/months is stressful. Baby swing, diapers, baby carriers....so many decisions to make. Do I take the stroller? That eats up soooo much space. Not to mention the clothing situation. I'm still in weird postpartum limbo, half in maternity clothes, my old stuff doesn't fit yet but I'm tired of maternity clothes and I don't want to pack it all. Oswin and Lyra are both growing. I need a cooler for breastmilk I pump while I travel. We need a cat box for the trip. We will need to have space for the extra liquid food items, lotions, shampoos, assorted things movers won't pack that we want to take with.  Also I need to pack the weird stuff I'm don't want to explain to movers. I'm talking things like the leftover "team penis" buttons and vagina candy molds from the sex party when we announced Oswin is a boy. Or the weird collection of tiny penises my best friend buys me. I have a wind up one and a stone carved one. Seriously. The normal weird stuff like the storm trooper lifesize cutout and assorted sasquatch paraphernalia is fine, I'm not embarrassed about those.

My advice is, don't ever move over the holiday season if you can avoid it. It slows down scheduling movers, getting the house on the market, etc. I'm kind of a type A, hyper organized person. I like to have everything lined out and love lists and having everything settled. So I'm kind of a big ball of stress. And to be completely honest, I think I have some postpartum anxiety/OCD going on. I'm planning on taking a combination of my own advice and the advice of other mother friends and see if things calm down in the next few weeks until I can get to Colorado and set up with a primary care doctor there. It's hard to tell where to draw the line between normal holiday/young baby/moving stress and "this isn't really rational" stress. In all my internet research and bonding with mom pals I've seen it's actually a really common but not often discussed openly topic. Even with my openness about a lot regarding birth and babies and pregnancy, it makes me uncomfortable. But anyway, there's this thing that happens where you get some obtrusive thoughts. By the way, it's totally different from the postpartum psychosis level where you hear voices or want to hurt yourself or your child. Just to clarify straight off the bat. It's more like worry taken to the next level in a creative way. Like just a thought pops into your head about whatever various ways your child could be harmed.

Some are the more (for lack of a better word) normal and common worries.

"What if I drop him him?"

"What if he just doesn't wake up from his nap?"

Then you get into the more irrational or elaborate territory. Things that would never happen or are so rare you really shouldn't be worried about them.

"What if all the glass disappeared and I dropped the baby out the second story window?"

Never mind this isn't Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone.

"What if I had a seizure or something and smacked his head on the corner of the table when I fell?"

And they can be very uncomfortably graphic thoughts. I think that's what makes people hesitate to talk about it. This is where I want to say again, it's not postpartum psychosis where you might act on those thoughts. It's more the opposite feeling, where you're horrified by all the dangers out there and semi panicked about preventing them. Intrusive and bothersome thoughts is what they are. That's the line I'm less sure of though,  where it goes from being fleeting thoughts to worry that interferes with daily life.

I'm putting it out there though because I mentioned it in a mom group and got an immediate chorus of "You have those thoughts? Thank goodness, so do I."

And let's be real, while kids are hearty little things, there's a lot of real danger to worry about and common sense things you have to teach them. Running with a toothbrush and stabbing through your cheek, legitimate fear that need attention to prevent. Toddler drowning in the tub if you don't pay attention, cutting off circulation to appendages with rogue hair or string tourniquets, hot food on the counters and stoves, all other scenarios that are not unlikely and should be kept in mind.

On a lighter note, I'm teaching Oswin to speak wookie. He's got it 95% down and makes a valiant effort to conversationally chit chat back and forth with you. He also laughs hysterically when you say, "Woo woo, quack, ribbit." Kids are great.

Anywho, this post is actually incredibly late, movers come tomorrow! See ya later, Nevada.