Saturday, August 26, 2023

Sneaky Peak! ch1 of my debut novel: The Darkness Behind the Door

 Torn to bits by demonic house-cat-adjacent monsters with knives for tails is a recent addition to the list of things Theo imagines might kill him. Despite a propensity for vivid daydreaming and a tendency toward anxiety, he’s never come up with something this absurd before. He wishes he was imagining things, but this is his reality. Running for his life, uphill in the dark and cold, a pack of monsters at his back. 

As a child, while reading “Alice In Wonderland” for the first time, Theo was unjustly critical of Alice. What sensible person follows a talking rabbit down a mysterious hole? Anyone with a modicum of sense could spot the flaws in that plan. And Theo has never been particularly sensible, especially during those younger years. Now, as an adult, Theo decides he isn’t in a position to judge Alice for her decisions. Not after he’s followed an invisible moose through a door in the woods to his probable doom. 

It all starts, as most extraordinary things do, on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday morning. The sun is perpetually low on the horizon, as is typical for an Alaskan winter day. The air is a dry cold that takes your breath away. Cold enough the snow doesn’t melt, instead squeaking and crunching like sand under every step. 

Theo was up and awake far too late the previous night, doing some of his last-minute end of the semester packing and cleaning. He should have done it gradually over the week, but he’d been busy cramming for finals. Studying is something he puts off. He doesn’t mean to, but there is always something more important to attend to. 

Theo still lives in the same town he grew up in. With five younger siblings and a widowed, working mother, there are always fires to put out. Usually, metaphorical fires. Except for the time it was an actual kitchen fire. Even when there aren’t fires to put out, Theo finds excuses. There are plenty of things he’d rather do than study. 

This combination of procrastination and alternate priorities means he’s now forced to stay up late cleaning out his little studio apartment. So late that it’s now early again. Getting an eight-hundred-dollar deposit back easily wins out against a few hours of sleep. With the apartment satisfactorily clean, Theo spends another hour or two playing Tetris with his car and belongings. He’s never been good at Tetris. It’s too easy to get distracted and look away for what feels like just a second, only to look back and see all the shit just piling up. 

Moving is especially arduous this time around because it’s winter break and not summer. The winter weather is just the icing on the cake. Not only is it cold and dark outside, making his car packing a miserable experience, but he feels like a failure to boot. He shouldn’t be moving home at twenty-three, but his lease is up, and it's just too expensive to justify finding something for only one more semester. Knowing he is packing up to stay with his family dings his self-esteem. At least it’s only for another few months while he tries to actually, maybe, finally, graduate this time. All it took was failing a class here and there and somehow found himself an entire year behind, but he’s been scrambling to catch back up.

Theo gives his apartment building a backwards glance in the rearview mirror as he drives off. He won’t miss it, but he’s not exactly excited about where he’s headed, either. The small pit of unease in his stomach swells for a moment before he crushes it back down. He really thought he’d be doing something more with his life by now, but he isn’t sure he’ll even come up with a plan by graduation, let alone enact said plan. Real adult life looks a lot closer from this side of finals week.

It’s early in the morning when he finally reaches his family’s house in town. The house is eerily silent, with everyone else already gone to their vacation home. Theo’s running late. He hastily transfers the contents of his car into his childhood room, throwing everything into a pile on the floor. Organizing and unpacking can wait. He glances at his bed, already made with fresh sheets, and thinks about taking a quick nap. But he decides it’s probably best to keep up momentum and rest when he reaches his final destination.

The rest of his immediate and extended family is already on their sprawling vacation property. In truth, it’s nothing special. Just a shared property with enough space for a large crew to gather for holidays. It’s a multi acre property in the wilderness of interior Alaska, with several cabins and additions built over the years. The property expanding just as their family did, so they all fit despite being a large family. The atmosphere is always cozy and welcoming and so isolated it’s easy to forget the outside world exists. It takes on an almost cult-like feel when the entire extended family, friend groups, and strays show up for celebrations and gatherings of all sorts. Not the cult where everyone ends up in a murder documentary after a doomsday conspiracy, though. It feels more like a group of survivors riding out the zombie apocalypse, all comradery and hopeful teamwork.

Theo’s eager to get on the road and out to his family. Maybe the holidays and his younger siblings' antics are what he needs to pull himself out of his stagnant mood. He’s had a long day already and has several hours’ drive still ahead of him. Usually he’d make the drive with Mars, who is both his cousin and best friend. But even she wasn’t willing to wait around for him this time. He’s on his own. Not wanting to risk falling asleep at the wheel, Theo stops at his usual last stop gas station on the outskirts of town before the last leg of his drive. The car needs gas and Theo needs caffeine.

“Hey Fiona, how’s business?” Theo calls out without even bothering to glance at the cashier’s desk as he enters the small building. He pulls off a cheerful demeanor even though his mood is low, he doesn’t feel like spending any time answering questions about his mood. And Fiona’s the type who’s bound to notice and care enough to pry farther.

It is always Fiona working the front. She has owned the place for as long as Theo can remember. It’s never open past five pm, but Fiona is always there when the doors are unlocked. The decor is all 90s neon, and the cash register has to be pried opened with a butter knife for any transaction, but it is clean and well stocked with essentials. Theo always imagines he’s just stepping back in time every time he crosses the threshold. It is one of those places that is loved for its nostalgia, not for its modernity. 

“Hey Theo, haven’t seen you in a while. Fiona greets him warmly, coming out from behind the counter for a hug. Theo always treats her as a spare aunt, and she has a soft spot for him because of it. It doesn’t hurt that she is dating his favorite uncle as well. 

“Mars came through a couple of days ago. I thought she said you were supposed to be coming through yesterday, not today,” Fiona continues.

“I know, I know, I’m running late again,” Theo sighs, “I’m going now. I just need some fuel for me and the Subaru. Sadly, I can’t stay and visit with my favorite auntie, or I’ll hear even more complaints about my lateness.”

Theo glances toward the bulletin board near the front door. Forever cluttered with business cards, sale notices, and job postings, it’s an information center for local happenings. The missing posters always draw him in. He is studying criminology at college, mostly by default because he’s never found an innate desire for a particular career path. He has ashamedly been interested in true crime and anything mysterious since he was a small child. When he thinks too hard about it, it seems like a twisted and vaguely creepy pastime to dwell on the tragedies of others, but he can’t resist the impulse. He’s always been one of those people who can’t look away from a car wreck even if he wants to. 

Theo recognizes a few of the pictures on the missing person’s posters. He’s not sure if he’s reading into things or not, but there’s a hint of a pattern to some of the disappearances. At least Theo thinks so. The last couple of summers, men around Theo’s age will disappear into the woods. Late teens, early twenties. They vanish without a trace. Two or three every summer for at least three years now. They’re all tourists. Many were traveling alone. He even went to his Uncle Murphy about it. His uncle was skeptical, to say the least. 

Theo’s Uncle Murphy is a local detective and is also the closest thing he has to a father figure since Theo’s own father died when he was twelve. Murphy is gruff with a dry sense of humor. He’s traditionally been very frustrated with Theo’s lack of direction and motivation. Theo still admires him, though. Murphy is the other reason for the criminology degree. Theo still isn’t sure picking a major on a whim was the greatest plan, but truth be told, he ran out of time to decide. Since Murphy is the one who really got on his case to pick something, criminology it is. 

When Theo brought up the disappearances, Murphy told him to stop being a conspiracy theorist. He’s of the opinion the disappearances Theo is particularly interested in are nothing but poorly prepared hikers and backpackers succumbing to the elements. 

“What if it’s a serial killer? Their demographic is men my age. You’ll be sorry if I disappear next,” Theo had said to Murphy, mostly to annoy him. Though he does genuinely think the disappearances warrant a little digging. 

“Listen, kid, there’s nothing to worry about. They’re lost tourists in the woods. You’re not a tourist. You know better than to get yourself lost in the woods,” had been Murphy’s reply. Then he went back to hounding Theo about using his brain power for something useful, like going to class instead of daydreaming so much. Theo wonders if he should bring up the disappearances again. Maybe over the next few days, when they’re all trapped together and Murphy has had a beer or two, he’ll have to listen.

Fiona, seeing Theo’s gaze on the bulletin board, pulls a missing flier down and hands it to him. “You can have it. I can print another. Murphy said you’ve been interested in the men who’ve disappeared the last few years and this one’s new. He said something about a theory of yours.”

Theo scoffs, “Murphy thinks my theory is just my imagination. If he’d give me access to some actual information, maybe I could prove I’m not just a kid with an overactive imagination.”

“You aren’t a silly kid. Murphy doesn’t think that you know,” Fiona says gently.

Theo mutters something non-committal and glances at the paper in his hand; intrigued to realize he hasn’t seen this one before. The picture is grainy. He can’t make out too much detail, but it looks like a standard high school senior picture. Fiona’s printer hasn’t seen an update in a while, clearly. 

Beau, a traveler from the lower forty-eight states, had been visiting for a backpacking trip the previous summer. He disappeared without a trace in the wilderness. Just like the others, he’s young, only nineteen. The missing poster makes it clear his family thinks he’s a runaway. Probably means they didn’t report this right away, and that’s why it’s new information to Theo, despite the fact this man’s been missing for months now. 

Fiona pulls Theo’s attention back from the flier with a tug at one of the longer curls of deep brown hair peeking out from his winter cap. “Your hair is getting so long!”

Theo shifts back into cheerful small talk mode, glad to be back on a less serious topic. “What can I say? My lovely locks get me the dates. I can pull off the romantic dreamer look. I have to use what I got since I can’t quite pull off the rugged mountain man beard like Uncle Murphy. It’s all my dad’s side of the family tree here,” he says, rubbing his bare chin mock seriously.

Fiona just rolls her eyes at him fondly as he adds, “Haircuts are too expensive anyway.”

 “Well, if you need a haircut, it will only take a minute to find the clippers. I’ll even give you a discount,” Fiona teases. 

“Don’t you dare.” Theo tugs his cap down harder.

“It’s good you stopped by when you did,” Fiona says, glancing out the window. “The weather is supposed to take a turn later this evening and bring in quite the snowstorm. You wouldn’t want to be stuck on these roads then. You know how long it takes for a rescue, even in decent weather, for something simple like an empty gas tank. Don’t risk getting stuck out in the snow. Have a cup of coffee, on the house, and get out of here.”

“Right as always, Fiona. I’ll get out of your hair before you take your clippers to mine.” Theo grins at her as he leaves and calls back over his shoulder, “Shall I give Uncle Murphy your love? Tell him to stop by for a chat on his way out?”

“Hush, you,” Fiona says, blushing. She hesitates a beat, then says, “He’s stopping by tonight. We’re heading up your way in the morning, after the storm.”

“I’m scandalized!” Theo grins even more broadly. Dodging the playful swat Fiona aims his way, he skips out the door. Aiming to keep his energy level as high as possible, he’s trying to avoid the inevitable crash after pulling an all-nighter.

Theo is singing along with the radio, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to stay awake. His phone pings with a message from Mars, and the words rolling across the dashboard display, “Have you even left yet??? You were supposed to be here YESTERDAY.”

He knows he shouldn’t text, but he does anyway, trying to type quickly while still watching the road, “Running late, on the way.” But it’s too late. He’s hit the stretch of the road that’s a dead zone and the message doesn’t send. 

The snow falls in big gentle flakes as Theo turns off the highway onto the back road that leads to his family’s cabin. He still has an hour of driving ahead, but he’s already imagining the warm fire and comfortable couches he intends to nap on first thing. A thin layer of snowy accumulation covers the road already; the storm is coming in fast. Dusk is already on the way. The darkness rolling in isn’t just from storm clouds. This far north at this time of year, sunset happens early, in the afternoon, well before evening. 

Theo’s lost in his thoughts, driving on autopilot, when a moose emerges from the tree line along the road. Everything happens suddenly, jolting Theo back from his daydreams. The moose comes from the right, barreling directly into the car’s path. It isn’t the first moose Theo has ever had dart in front of his car and certainly not the biggest. Admittedly, moose are massive creatures even when they’re small, and this one came flying out of the forest like it was being chased by something. 

It happens so fast that Theo doesn’t have time to do more than hit the brakes and brace for impact, barely overriding his first instinct to swerve. His best bet is to hit the moose head on and hope it rolls across the top of the car. With any luck, he won’t be crushed or maimed too badly during the process. He doesn’t mean to close his eyes at the last minute, but he can’t help it.

The impact Theo braces for never comes. He lurches forward against the locked seatbelt as the car stops abruptly. His eyes fly open. 

There is no moose. He looks around wildly, trying to spot where the moose has landed. Maybe he has somehow blacked out for a minute, blocking out the impact. But there isn’t even a dent in the car hood, no shattered windshield, no sign of an impact at all. The airbags never went off. Theo’s heart beats loudly in his ears, making him realize it’s the only sound he hears. His radio is suddenly silent and the car’s display screen is shattered, only displaying wavy distorted lines of color. 

“What the fuck?” Theo shakily says to himself as he scrambles to undo his seatbelt and open his car door. He circles the car several times looking for damage, swearing under his breath all the while. He even checks under the car, despite knowing that he’d have noticed immediately if there was an entire moose under there. 

Just as he is convincing himself that he must have drifted off and imagined the whole incident, he registers marks in the snow in front of the bumper. Moose tracks. They aren’t the tracks of an animal running, though; they are too closely and evenly spaced for that. Even stranger, they start in front of the car and meander off into the woods. It’s as if the moose dropped from the sky and has calmly walked off into the woods. It doesn’t appear as if a moose has madly dashed out of the woods, avoided being hit by the car and then run off again. All, somehow, too quickly to be seen. None of it makes any sense to Theo, no matter which way he looks at it.

Theo scans the woods, his eyes following the path where the hoofprints disappear into the forest, as he contemplates his options. Following the tracks might be a stupid idea. The weather is rapidly turning vicious; the wind is picking up, and the snow falls harder by the second. 

Despite their innocuous, almost comical appearance, moose are large animals, and they can be dangerous. Injured moose even more so. But he isn’t sure the moose is injured. There is no blood on his car, no trace of blood in the snow around the car, only hoofprints. He isn’t even sure there was a moose, actually, at this point. If not for the tracks in the snow, he would be sure that there isn’t a moose, and he’d be blaming his imagination. Following the tracks is definitely a terrible idea. Theo acknowledges this but can’t resist the mystery of it all, in the end. 

Theo sets off into the woods. He’s not more than a few yards into the woods when the tracks abruptly stop. The glint of fading sun off the hood of his car is still visible through the trees when he finds himself in front of a closed door at the top of a hill.