How preggo I am: approximately 100 Jovian days. That's days on Jupiter in case you were wondering. I picked that because that's how long I feel like I've been pregnant and I'm only 6 weeks. I've known for just over 3 so that's part of why it feels like forever.
Baby size: Lady bug or Maine blueberry sized.
Morning sickness: Ughhhh. I've never been this sick, this early on in any of my pregnancies. I got to dry heave in the parking lot of Babies-R-Us the other day. Classic.
Food cravings/aversions: I can still eat bagels with cream cheese and sort of enjoy it. Even sushi sounds gross and that was my go to food with Lyra and it's my "I had too much tequila and I'm so hungover I could die" or stomach flu food. I'm weird I know, but it's true. So if sushi is off the menu, you know it's bad.
Other symptom: Sometimes my boobs hurt. Sometimes I think it's because I'm thinking about them and trying to decide if they hurt.
Weight gain: I know not.
Sleep: Insomnia still sometimes and lots of vivid weird dreams. And also I'm so tired. Just deeply down to the bone tired.
Mood: I'm so grouchy. And mean. I told my mother in law she is a terrible person. In my defense she was mean to me and my father in law agreed with me. And so did Travis. It was a very democratic insult and she has to like me right now anyway. She helps deliver babies for a living, I guarantee that's not the meanest thing a pregnant person has ever said to her. Also I got sick again, that makes 3 times this year (plus everyone else has been sick here too) and January still isn't even over. I'm currently deciding if I'm on the very tail end of it or if I'm getting sick yet again or if it's just pregnancy related. So just don't cross me right now, I'm not in the mood.
Gender: Unknown. I'm working on a post about my reasons for finding out early through.
Lyra stats: Well this happened today. So Lyra is 2.5 years old. She was standing still, holding onto one of those push walker toys meant for babies who are like, under a year and learning how to walk. Picture a baby walker, essentially. She wasn't running or doing anything weird, when suddenly she flips forward (I'm talking full front flip here) and lands right on her face on the wood floor. And then her neck bends all horrifying like while I rush the 4 feet over to her. By the time I decided I didn't need to call an ambulance she was already mad that I wouldn't let her stand and jump in her camp chair. Kids are awful. Also I can't for the life of me get her to stop eating her books. Probably a good 40% have big bites taken out of them. "I eat book, mama. I bite." Awesome.
What I miss: Enjoying life. I know I'm being melodramatic. I'm glad I'm pregnant, I just feel awful physically. I miss enjoying food.
Best moment this week: Ooh actually I have a really fun one this week. My birth story blog post is being published in a book this May! One of my birth photographer's friends is putting together a book. So I'm excited to see that. Here is the link to my original blog post and this is the link to the story on my birth photographers website but with photos and her words added as well. I adore that lady. If you need a birth photographer in Fairbanks, use her, but don't tell me or I'll be jealous.
Looking forward to: The ultrasound the day after tomorrow. I am equal parts excited to see the baby and hoping to get it over with so I can get that initial dose of anxiety finished with. I'm anxious that things won't be as they should but trying not to let it squash the joy. In all likelihood, I'll go in, see a heartbeat and promptly resume worrying the next day. Motherhood in a nutshell.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Captain's Log: Sol 34 (AKA 5 weeks Earth time)
How preggo I am: In Martian time I am 34 sols pregnant. Sounds cooler than 5 weeks.
Baby size: Peppercorn or BB pellet sized, little still!
Morning sickness: Already kicking in. The general hungover feeling started on and off a few days ago and I already puked once.
Food cravings/aversions: Nothing specific really, I'm trying to continue enjoying food while that lasts still.
Other symptom: I'm hungry. A lot. Unless I'm nauseous. It is weird. Also I definitely have to pee all the damn time. And for the first time, I feel like that pregnancy glow thing is a thing. I just feel like my cheeks look like I'm wearing blush or something. I just feel like I look pretty which is a nice perk. If I'm going to feel like crap, at least I don't look like it.
Weight gain: As far as I know, nothing but I haven't checked to be honest.
Sleep: Insomnia seems to be a pattern in pregnancy for me. Plus I've been sick and I'm trying to find a good pillow so my neck has been hurting, none of which helps things.
Mood: Grouchy and irritable. I think I'm mostly just stressed but I'm just kinda mehhhh.
Gender: Unknown, obviously. I intend to find out though, when I do genetic testing. So I should know by 10 weeks. This has always been one of the big pregnancy related "discussions" between me and Travis. But damn it, I've been waiting 9 months already for a baby and I have nearly that much more to go so I just want all the data I can collect now.
Lyra stats: I'm going to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of the toddler years I don't think. Things are a bit more peaceful now that I caved and put her back in diapers but she's in a "I do it myself stage" and a mama's girl phase which is all a bit smothering to be honest. Not to say I don't still enjoy her tremendously, I'm just being honest, toddlers are tiny tyrannical devils. I have 2 great stories though. We went out to eat the other day and the waiter brought her a sucker at the end. Now, Lyra's grammar is a little unrefined and she phrases things with an extra "me" at the end or uses it instead of "my." For example, "I eat noodles me" or "Water bottle me." She's also not very good at the second syllable of words. "Wa" is water " "Ju" is juice, etc, etc. So when the waiter brought over a sucker, instead of saying, "My sucker," Lyra very excitedly screamed at her loudest volume, "SUCK ME!" The other funny Lyra moment of the week was while reading a book. There was a picture of a fox and I argued with her for about 5 minutes because she kept telling me it was a cat. Finally I gave up and said,"Fine, it's a cat. Look, Lyra, cat." She gave me a look of utter disgust, like I was the stupidest person she's ever met and said, "No, no, Mama. FOX." Sheesh. Also she can use chopsticks. Real chopsticks. I'm thoroughly impressed with her.
What I miss: Beer and wine. But not all that much honestly. And having as many shots of espresso as I want. I'm trying to keep my caffeine intake down to reasonable amounts. So only 1 or 2. Luckily, I have decaf for my new espresso machine.
Best moment this week: I was sick most of the week and hardly left the house. So honestly, probably it was the one play date we got to go to this week. Nothing cool happened related to pregnancy to be honest.
Looking forward to: That first ultrasound. Not that I get to have one next week, I still have 10 days but still, that's really the one thing I'm looking forward to right now.
Baby size: Peppercorn or BB pellet sized, little still!
Morning sickness: Already kicking in. The general hungover feeling started on and off a few days ago and I already puked once.
Food cravings/aversions: Nothing specific really, I'm trying to continue enjoying food while that lasts still.
Other symptom: I'm hungry. A lot. Unless I'm nauseous. It is weird. Also I definitely have to pee all the damn time. And for the first time, I feel like that pregnancy glow thing is a thing. I just feel like my cheeks look like I'm wearing blush or something. I just feel like I look pretty which is a nice perk. If I'm going to feel like crap, at least I don't look like it.
Weight gain: As far as I know, nothing but I haven't checked to be honest.
Sleep: Insomnia seems to be a pattern in pregnancy for me. Plus I've been sick and I'm trying to find a good pillow so my neck has been hurting, none of which helps things.
Mood: Grouchy and irritable. I think I'm mostly just stressed but I'm just kinda mehhhh.
Gender: Unknown, obviously. I intend to find out though, when I do genetic testing. So I should know by 10 weeks. This has always been one of the big pregnancy related "discussions" between me and Travis. But damn it, I've been waiting 9 months already for a baby and I have nearly that much more to go so I just want all the data I can collect now.
Lyra stats: I'm going to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of the toddler years I don't think. Things are a bit more peaceful now that I caved and put her back in diapers but she's in a "I do it myself stage" and a mama's girl phase which is all a bit smothering to be honest. Not to say I don't still enjoy her tremendously, I'm just being honest, toddlers are tiny tyrannical devils. I have 2 great stories though. We went out to eat the other day and the waiter brought her a sucker at the end. Now, Lyra's grammar is a little unrefined and she phrases things with an extra "me" at the end or uses it instead of "my." For example, "I eat noodles me" or "Water bottle me." She's also not very good at the second syllable of words. "Wa" is water " "Ju" is juice, etc, etc. So when the waiter brought over a sucker, instead of saying, "My sucker," Lyra very excitedly screamed at her loudest volume, "SUCK ME!" The other funny Lyra moment of the week was while reading a book. There was a picture of a fox and I argued with her for about 5 minutes because she kept telling me it was a cat. Finally I gave up and said,"Fine, it's a cat. Look, Lyra, cat." She gave me a look of utter disgust, like I was the stupidest person she's ever met and said, "No, no, Mama. FOX." Sheesh. Also she can use chopsticks. Real chopsticks. I'm thoroughly impressed with her.
What I miss: Beer and wine. But not all that much honestly. And having as many shots of espresso as I want. I'm trying to keep my caffeine intake down to reasonable amounts. So only 1 or 2. Luckily, I have decaf for my new espresso machine.
Best moment this week: I was sick most of the week and hardly left the house. So honestly, probably it was the one play date we got to go to this week. Nothing cool happened related to pregnancy to be honest.
Looking forward to: That first ultrasound. Not that I get to have one next week, I still have 10 days but still, that's really the one thing I'm looking forward to right now.
 |
| The closest I'm getting to a pre bump picture because frankly, I don't want to clean my mirror right now and if I wait until later, I'll forget. So whatever. |
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
672 Hours Pregnant, Glitter Infestations, and How to Prepare for the Apocalypse
First, good news! I got my 3rd and last blood test back and things are looking to be on track so far this time around. My hCG was at 450.2 mIU/ML at 3w5d, it quadrupled in the 3 days since the previous test. So I'm hopeful and maybe will make it to my ultrasound at 6 weeks and some change (hopefully right around the beginning of February) without any scares or stress.
I am 4 weeks exactly today and I don't think many symptoms are kicking in but it's hard to tell because I've been fairly sick. I think pregnancy bionic nose has turned on but I'm also super stuffy so that's the worst of both worlds. I had no idea how badly all the animals farting has been lately. Lyra is pretty bad too. I always know when it's her at least, she cracks up and says, "I toot me" every single time. I've felt kind of nauseous but I'm 97% sure that's just being sick. And I'm exhausted. But I'm not sleeping well because I can't breathe great laying down. And I'm up peeing at night again though and I'm pretty sure that's pregnancy.
I've been on a hardcore cleaning binge. Possibly a bit stress related but also a good deal related to being trapped in a house unable to see friends because germs. My bathrooms are cleaned, Lyra's room and all 568,539 toys have been organized, I'm caught up on dishes, ALL the laundry is done (I'm talking down to dog blankets and bathroom rugs), the guest room/office and laundry room are both fully organized (I've been meaning to finish those since we moved in almost 7 months ago). My electronic life is even organized. I had nearly 6,700 unread emails when I started that decluttering project (shameful, I know) but now everything unimportant is deleted and I'm mostly unsuscribed from all the lists I managed to get myself on. At this rate I won't have any nesting to do at the end.
Most importantly, there is hardly any glitter left in my house. There's a funny back story here that seems too amusing not to share. So a while back I saw this thing on the internet about glitter paint pictures. Basically rolling around in glitter paint and taking pictures. It looks really cool even if it sounds kooky. And somehow that led to me researching milk bath photos (also super cool, you fill a tub with water, add powdered milk and you get this neat opaque effect). And then I put 2 and 2 together and decided to make a milk bath, dump in a couple containers of glitter and get some artsy photos taken. Seemed like a perfectly logical decision at the time.
So I only got 2 modest sized containers, one silver, one gold, maybe 5 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter. I had to hold back from buying more and thank goodness I did. I've never seen so much glitter in my life. Travis had to vacuum the tub. After I swept it. My master bathroom carpet (terrible design decision that is at the top of our fix list) shimmers. Literally shimmers and sparkles. I couldn't get it off my body for 3 days. I left actual glitter trails. If I would have commited any crimes, you'd be able to follow the glitter trail back to me. Travis tried to ban me from rooms of the house and I'd hear him sigh whenever he discovered it was too late.
Still though. Best. Decision. Ever. The photos turned out all sparkly and shimmery and shiny. It was like being a mermaid model. I did indeed get cool artsy photos plus a nice ego boost because I looked pretty. My previous nickname of Skittles (thanks to the rainbow hair) has been replaced with Sparkles. At this point most of the house has been intensely decontaminated, but I estimate another week before there's no trace of glitter on the floor anywhere in the house. Plus the comic value of having a house full of glitter is worth the cleanup.
Now that my house is sparkly clean (haha), I have to admit my other project. This one came about after hearing about the false missile alarm in Hawaii and the less talked about false alarm in Japan several days later. I can hardly fathom being in that situation and reading accounts of people who were was horrifying to me. So I'm setting up my supplies in case of nuclear attack or general emergency requiring evacuation. The feedback I've received from those close to me has ranged from disdainful silence/eye-rolling (ahem....Travis) and "thats a bit on the tinfoil hat spectrum" and "oh yep, my boyfriend is one of those weirdos too, why do I even like either of you...." all the way to "that's a fantastic idea" chats with prepping tips and advice. Whatever though, to the haters, it's worth the peace of mind if there's ever even a false alarm. I would rather be prepared during a false alarm so I'm as calm and not panicked and as little traumatized as possible. And if anyone mocks me, guess who won't be getting to share my food and toilet paper come doomsday? You can't wipe your ass with sass, I always say. (That's a lie, I've never actually said that but I will from now on, you can bet on that.) I could envision this being me though, if I don't prepare ahead of time. "Oh I brought all these lip balms." And "I got contact solution! No contacts. Guess if we wanted to make slime, we good." I've seriously watched that video like 5 times. Ok, maybe 8. I find it inexplicably hilarious. So yeah, disaster prep, hardly the weirdest thing I've ever done. I mean, bigfoot showed up at my bridal shower and I took my 1 year old to a MUFON meeting so it's pretty standard really.
Back to business, I got a little distracted there, sorry. The one major setback recently, potty training. Not me, I still have that whole business figured out. Lyra though, not so much. We've been working on it for seriously at least 5 or 6 months. I'm so done. I kept at it for ages because she learned after like 3 days and hardly had accidents for 2 weeks. Then I guess she decided that was dumb so she was over it. And now I am over it. I'm tired of cleaning accidents several times a day and all the extra laundry. Or the extra pull ups all the time. It's actually less work to use and wash cloth diapers. So we are back to that for who knows how long. Oh well.
So that's that, not too much else to say, seeing as I've been writing with a lot more frequency the last little bit. I'm planning on starting up my more structured pregnancy blog update next week. But it could just be more rambling about glitter or nuclear apocalypse, guess we'll find out.
I am 4 weeks exactly today and I don't think many symptoms are kicking in but it's hard to tell because I've been fairly sick. I think pregnancy bionic nose has turned on but I'm also super stuffy so that's the worst of both worlds. I had no idea how badly all the animals farting has been lately. Lyra is pretty bad too. I always know when it's her at least, she cracks up and says, "I toot me" every single time. I've felt kind of nauseous but I'm 97% sure that's just being sick. And I'm exhausted. But I'm not sleeping well because I can't breathe great laying down. And I'm up peeing at night again though and I'm pretty sure that's pregnancy.
I've been on a hardcore cleaning binge. Possibly a bit stress related but also a good deal related to being trapped in a house unable to see friends because germs. My bathrooms are cleaned, Lyra's room and all 568,539 toys have been organized, I'm caught up on dishes, ALL the laundry is done (I'm talking down to dog blankets and bathroom rugs), the guest room/office and laundry room are both fully organized (I've been meaning to finish those since we moved in almost 7 months ago). My electronic life is even organized. I had nearly 6,700 unread emails when I started that decluttering project (shameful, I know) but now everything unimportant is deleted and I'm mostly unsuscribed from all the lists I managed to get myself on. At this rate I won't have any nesting to do at the end.
 |
| As you can see I have 6,611 unread emails and I am subscribed to 74 email lists. I have a problem. I actually debated just getting a new email address. |
Most importantly, there is hardly any glitter left in my house. There's a funny back story here that seems too amusing not to share. So a while back I saw this thing on the internet about glitter paint pictures. Basically rolling around in glitter paint and taking pictures. It looks really cool even if it sounds kooky. And somehow that led to me researching milk bath photos (also super cool, you fill a tub with water, add powdered milk and you get this neat opaque effect). And then I put 2 and 2 together and decided to make a milk bath, dump in a couple containers of glitter and get some artsy photos taken. Seemed like a perfectly logical decision at the time.
So I only got 2 modest sized containers, one silver, one gold, maybe 5 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter. I had to hold back from buying more and thank goodness I did. I've never seen so much glitter in my life. Travis had to vacuum the tub. After I swept it. My master bathroom carpet (terrible design decision that is at the top of our fix list) shimmers. Literally shimmers and sparkles. I couldn't get it off my body for 3 days. I left actual glitter trails. If I would have commited any crimes, you'd be able to follow the glitter trail back to me. Travis tried to ban me from rooms of the house and I'd hear him sigh whenever he discovered it was too late.
Still though. Best. Decision. Ever. The photos turned out all sparkly and shimmery and shiny. It was like being a mermaid model. I did indeed get cool artsy photos plus a nice ego boost because I looked pretty. My previous nickname of Skittles (thanks to the rainbow hair) has been replaced with Sparkles. At this point most of the house has been intensely decontaminated, but I estimate another week before there's no trace of glitter on the floor anywhere in the house. Plus the comic value of having a house full of glitter is worth the cleanup.
 |
| The glitterpocalypse aftermath. Actual Twilight vampire status right here. |
 |
| Frighteningly, 90% of the glitter has sunk to the bottom by this point. |
Now that my house is sparkly clean (haha), I have to admit my other project. This one came about after hearing about the false missile alarm in Hawaii and the less talked about false alarm in Japan several days later. I can hardly fathom being in that situation and reading accounts of people who were was horrifying to me. So I'm setting up my supplies in case of nuclear attack or general emergency requiring evacuation. The feedback I've received from those close to me has ranged from disdainful silence/eye-rolling (ahem....Travis) and "thats a bit on the tinfoil hat spectrum" and "oh yep, my boyfriend is one of those weirdos too, why do I even like either of you...." all the way to "that's a fantastic idea" chats with prepping tips and advice. Whatever though, to the haters, it's worth the peace of mind if there's ever even a false alarm. I would rather be prepared during a false alarm so I'm as calm and not panicked and as little traumatized as possible. And if anyone mocks me, guess who won't be getting to share my food and toilet paper come doomsday? You can't wipe your ass with sass, I always say. (That's a lie, I've never actually said that but I will from now on, you can bet on that.) I could envision this being me though, if I don't prepare ahead of time. "Oh I brought all these lip balms." And "I got contact solution! No contacts. Guess if we wanted to make slime, we good." I've seriously watched that video like 5 times. Ok, maybe 8. I find it inexplicably hilarious. So yeah, disaster prep, hardly the weirdest thing I've ever done. I mean, bigfoot showed up at my bridal shower and I took my 1 year old to a MUFON meeting so it's pretty standard really.
Back to business, I got a little distracted there, sorry. The one major setback recently, potty training. Not me, I still have that whole business figured out. Lyra though, not so much. We've been working on it for seriously at least 5 or 6 months. I'm so done. I kept at it for ages because she learned after like 3 days and hardly had accidents for 2 weeks. Then I guess she decided that was dumb so she was over it. And now I am over it. I'm tired of cleaning accidents several times a day and all the extra laundry. Or the extra pull ups all the time. It's actually less work to use and wash cloth diapers. So we are back to that for who knows how long. Oh well.
So that's that, not too much else to say, seeing as I've been writing with a lot more frequency the last little bit. I'm planning on starting up my more structured pregnancy blog update next week. But it could just be more rambling about glitter or nuclear apocalypse, guess we'll find out.
Saturday, January 13, 2018
Preliminary Blood Test Results
First off, good news so far! The upshot is I got my first 2 blood results back and my midwife said things look good so far. Which should be enough info right there but I went deeper in researching and dwelling on the numbers because that's all I have right now. It is still so early that there isn't much to test and there's really no way to get any more feedback than this that things are ok. The baby is the size of a poppy seed so an ultrasound wouldn't show anything. This is why we are waiting until 6 weeks when hopefully the heart has started beating. And even then it can still stop later, as I know too well. But anyway the following is a glimpse into my overly analytical and anxious mind. I like math too much and am too creative in thinking up scenarios for my own good.
So the basics first. I am in the process of repeated blood tests to check the levels of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). This is an indication of pregnancy and generally levels should double every 48 to 72 hours in a healthy pregnancy. The quantitative level matters to some degree but the doubling matters more. However, huge caveat here, levels can vary wildly. High numbers can be normal or they could mean multiple babies or molar pregnancies (I'll get to that later). The same goes for low results. Low can mean impending miscarriage or could result in a totally normal pregnancy. So essentially, it's biology 101, here's the "rule" and 42,197 exceptions. And This is where my overthinking and over researching gets me in trouble.
Because I'm a lunatic with no self control and I knew I was pregnant at 2 weeks and 6 days, or 2w6d,(I'm calling this 7 days post ovulation, or DPO, because I didn't track very well and its a bit of guess), my first blood test was at 3w0d. My hCG came was 38.2 mIU/ML. My next test was 2 days later (49 hours to be exact) at 3w2d and came back at 115.2 mIU/ML. The normal range for hCG during the 3rd week of pregnancy is 5-50 mIU/ML. So my results are in range for the first reading, above for the second, and they tripled in 49 hours.
Now because, and I cannot stress this enough, I have lost my damn mind, I made myself a little excel spreadsheet with potential scenarios. Side note, turns out I miss using excel a lot. I'm not even embarrassed to say I find spreadsheets and data fun. If my levels continue to rise at this rate, by 4 weeks I will be at 3,094.2 mIU/ML. The range for 4 weeks is 50 to 500 or so as far as I can tell. Also different resources say different things which is unhelpful. And not much data exists for this early on because not many people test this early. If my number only doubles every 48 hours from now on it will still be 687.6 mIU/ML. So I'm worried about multiples or molar pregnancies a bit.
I looked up the average for twin pregnancies and at 4 weeks and they vary even more wildly from source to source so I just got annoyed and stopped looking. Or rather kept gathering numbers and I still feel clueless and don't feel morally capable of reporting a number. Nonetheless, hCG tends to be higher with multiples but high hCG doesn't automatically mean it is multiples is the takeaway here. I do know one person personally having twins who had a hCG test at 4w1d and hers was 551 mIU/ML. And again rational me popping in to just say it could be just normal. Normal, normal, normal. Plus, twins would just be two for one, twins wouldn't be bad. I'll take what I can get at this point. Just please, universe, no quadruplets.
The bad one would be molar pregnancy. I mean, a miscarriage would be bad. But I can handle/deal with that. I have before, I could again I just reallllly don't want to. Molar pregnancy is different. It is a genetic error that causes abnormal tissue growth in the uterus. Not to get too in depth but its not viable pregnancy and I'd potentially need a D&C. They can be precancerous and I wouldn't be able to get pregnant for a year afterwards. You are at a slightly higher risk if you've had multiple miscarriages. It only happens in 1 in 1,000 pregnancies but those odds seem more ominous when I think about the 1 in 4,000 to 1 in 10,000 chance of Turner's syndrome which was the cause of my last miscarriage. In any case, it isn't a serious worry yet, but I couldn't help but think of it. I know too much about pregnancy.
Now I do realize I'm overthinking and worrying but I can't help it. This is just what happens in my head sometime and I guarantee I'm not the only one to have thoughts like this. Jokes aside, I think I'm actually quite normal and probably even a good deal more upbeat and relaxed than other's in similar situations. Plus, I let it all out and now I feel better. In all likelihood, I'm pregnant with one single baby and my pregnancy will be uneventful. And generally, I really believe that and am doing pretty well about it all. But, I'm still going to check what I can. Next blood test will hopefully bring me more reassurance and it really won't be long until the 6 week date with the twat wand (aka the transvaginal ultrasound I'm getting too familiar with) when I get to see a heartbeat. Fingers crossed!
In other non pregnancy related news, Lyra seems to be done with napping. I'm still hoping shes just having a weird week or something but we are at day 3 with no nap. I'm not ready for that.
Also I got contact lenses! I can see again! I'm still going to keep part time/back-up glasses around but it's fun to not have to wear them again and to have decent vision back.
I'm also learning how to brew kombucha (fermented tea, it is delicious) and the Christmas espresso maker is already seeing heavy use.
Dinger is starting to tolerate the cat more. Cat seems sick of his freak outs and now very boldly strolls into the room when he's around. I think it may still take a few months but yesterday Cat cuddled on my lap and Dinger cuddled at my feet. 6 months of progress right there, he's just a slow learner. Roxi and Travis meanwhile, continue to be Roxi and Travis. And now I'm all caught up!
So the basics first. I am in the process of repeated blood tests to check the levels of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). This is an indication of pregnancy and generally levels should double every 48 to 72 hours in a healthy pregnancy. The quantitative level matters to some degree but the doubling matters more. However, huge caveat here, levels can vary wildly. High numbers can be normal or they could mean multiple babies or molar pregnancies (I'll get to that later). The same goes for low results. Low can mean impending miscarriage or could result in a totally normal pregnancy. So essentially, it's biology 101, here's the "rule" and 42,197 exceptions. And This is where my overthinking and over researching gets me in trouble.
Because I'm a lunatic with no self control and I knew I was pregnant at 2 weeks and 6 days, or 2w6d,(I'm calling this 7 days post ovulation, or DPO, because I didn't track very well and its a bit of guess), my first blood test was at 3w0d. My hCG came was 38.2 mIU/ML. My next test was 2 days later (49 hours to be exact) at 3w2d and came back at 115.2 mIU/ML. The normal range for hCG during the 3rd week of pregnancy is 5-50 mIU/ML. So my results are in range for the first reading, above for the second, and they tripled in 49 hours.
Now because, and I cannot stress this enough, I have lost my damn mind, I made myself a little excel spreadsheet with potential scenarios. Side note, turns out I miss using excel a lot. I'm not even embarrassed to say I find spreadsheets and data fun. If my levels continue to rise at this rate, by 4 weeks I will be at 3,094.2 mIU/ML. The range for 4 weeks is 50 to 500 or so as far as I can tell. Also different resources say different things which is unhelpful. And not much data exists for this early on because not many people test this early. If my number only doubles every 48 hours from now on it will still be 687.6 mIU/ML. So I'm worried about multiples or molar pregnancies a bit.
I looked up the average for twin pregnancies and at 4 weeks and they vary even more wildly from source to source so I just got annoyed and stopped looking. Or rather kept gathering numbers and I still feel clueless and don't feel morally capable of reporting a number. Nonetheless, hCG tends to be higher with multiples but high hCG doesn't automatically mean it is multiples is the takeaway here. I do know one person personally having twins who had a hCG test at 4w1d and hers was 551 mIU/ML. And again rational me popping in to just say it could be just normal. Normal, normal, normal. Plus, twins would just be two for one, twins wouldn't be bad. I'll take what I can get at this point. Just please, universe, no quadruplets.
The bad one would be molar pregnancy. I mean, a miscarriage would be bad. But I can handle/deal with that. I have before, I could again I just reallllly don't want to. Molar pregnancy is different. It is a genetic error that causes abnormal tissue growth in the uterus. Not to get too in depth but its not viable pregnancy and I'd potentially need a D&C. They can be precancerous and I wouldn't be able to get pregnant for a year afterwards. You are at a slightly higher risk if you've had multiple miscarriages. It only happens in 1 in 1,000 pregnancies but those odds seem more ominous when I think about the 1 in 4,000 to 1 in 10,000 chance of Turner's syndrome which was the cause of my last miscarriage. In any case, it isn't a serious worry yet, but I couldn't help but think of it. I know too much about pregnancy.
Now I do realize I'm overthinking and worrying but I can't help it. This is just what happens in my head sometime and I guarantee I'm not the only one to have thoughts like this. Jokes aside, I think I'm actually quite normal and probably even a good deal more upbeat and relaxed than other's in similar situations. Plus, I let it all out and now I feel better. In all likelihood, I'm pregnant with one single baby and my pregnancy will be uneventful. And generally, I really believe that and am doing pretty well about it all. But, I'm still going to check what I can. Next blood test will hopefully bring me more reassurance and it really won't be long until the 6 week date with the twat wand (aka the transvaginal ultrasound I'm getting too familiar with) when I get to see a heartbeat. Fingers crossed!
In other non pregnancy related news, Lyra seems to be done with napping. I'm still hoping shes just having a weird week or something but we are at day 3 with no nap. I'm not ready for that.
Also I got contact lenses! I can see again! I'm still going to keep part time/back-up glasses around but it's fun to not have to wear them again and to have decent vision back.
I'm also learning how to brew kombucha (fermented tea, it is delicious) and the Christmas espresso maker is already seeing heavy use.
Dinger is starting to tolerate the cat more. Cat seems sick of his freak outs and now very boldly strolls into the room when he's around. I think it may still take a few months but yesterday Cat cuddled on my lap and Dinger cuddled at my feet. 6 months of progress right there, he's just a slow learner. Roxi and Travis meanwhile, continue to be Roxi and Travis. And now I'm all caught up!
Thursday, January 11, 2018
Captain's Log: Day 20
Well hello again, I wish I was more consistent with posting. I won't bother with false promises of being better at that this year. 2017 was a rough one. But I made it out alive. I have one ex due date gone and past and I have one more sad one to go. That being said, I have a new due date to look forward to! September 26th.
I am currently 2 weeks and 6 days pregnant. New record for the earliest I've ever found out. Stupid early. My period isn't due for 8 days. That's just ridiculous. I was tracking my periods but not my ovulation very well. So I know my start date well and maybe I ovulated early. In any case, this is the earliest I've ever heard it's possible to find out. Basically, I have no self control and this morning I woke up and my rational self said, "You should not pee on a test because that is a waste of time and a waste of a pregnancy test because you can't find out this early. You are mayyyyyybe 8 days post ovulation very optimistically. Realistically 7 days, maybe even only 6. And also you peed on a test yesterday and it was blank because its TOO EARLY, you crazy person." So naturally I ignored my rational self and impulsively peed on a pregnancy test. And shockingly, there were two lines. So I tried 2 more tests and I'm definitely pregnant.
I'm not surprised I'm pregnant this time, by the way, just surprised how early I know. Luckily for me, I get pregnant easily, it's just the staying pregnant I've struggled with the last year. My track record is 3 out of 5 months trying I've gotten pregnant. Plus that oopsies pregnancy a month I wasn't trying. So I guess more like 4 out of 6. I have a 66.7% success rate basically. But that's all just a sidenote because I like numbers. I think my little 3 month breather was a good decision. It was kind of a bummer but I needed a break from morning sickness and being worried. I feel much more optimistic again.
I'm more excited than I thought I'd be. I was nervous about trying so I thought I'd feel more mixed about a posutive test. If I let myself get nervous about another miscarriage, I'll dissolve into a puddle of anxiety and not be able to function so I'm not doing that. I don't know that I'll be able to really feel like this is happening until I can feel this kid kick and have some real time feedback that they're ok. So it will be last minute prep when it comes to the logistical things like a nursery so I don't jinx anything. Plus there's a lot less stuff we need for the second go around.
I'm planning on some extra testing this time to ease my anxiety about it. I'm contacting my midwife about blood testing to check hormone levels the next week or 2. Then I definitely don't think I can chill until I have an early ultrasound around 6 weeks to check for a heartbeat. I think that next stretch will be the worst. My missed miscarriage with Nova happened in between the 6 week ultrasound where we saw a heartbeat and the end of the first trimester around 13 weeks. So this time I'm getting the blood test for genetic screening that can be done at 9 weeks. And very likely I'll do the NT screening which is done between 11 and 14 weeks. Hopefully after that I can rest pretty easy with Doppler heartbeats at regular appointments, starting to feel movement, and the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. All that gives me test results to look forward to and check in on. Smaller chunks of waiting.
I plan on keeping y'all updated fairly frequently. Whether good or bad. I shared the news online in a few groups immediately. I have an old due date group and several of them said they've been thinking of me, which means a lot because it sucks feeling like life kicked you out of a club you really wanted to be in. I'm hoping I'll have some blood test results next week. Wish me luck. Come on 2018, treat me better than 2017, pretty please.
I am currently 2 weeks and 6 days pregnant. New record for the earliest I've ever found out. Stupid early. My period isn't due for 8 days. That's just ridiculous. I was tracking my periods but not my ovulation very well. So I know my start date well and maybe I ovulated early. In any case, this is the earliest I've ever heard it's possible to find out. Basically, I have no self control and this morning I woke up and my rational self said, "You should not pee on a test because that is a waste of time and a waste of a pregnancy test because you can't find out this early. You are mayyyyyybe 8 days post ovulation very optimistically. Realistically 7 days, maybe even only 6. And also you peed on a test yesterday and it was blank because its TOO EARLY, you crazy person." So naturally I ignored my rational self and impulsively peed on a pregnancy test. And shockingly, there were two lines. So I tried 2 more tests and I'm definitely pregnant.
I'm not surprised I'm pregnant this time, by the way, just surprised how early I know. Luckily for me, I get pregnant easily, it's just the staying pregnant I've struggled with the last year. My track record is 3 out of 5 months trying I've gotten pregnant. Plus that oopsies pregnancy a month I wasn't trying. So I guess more like 4 out of 6. I have a 66.7% success rate basically. But that's all just a sidenote because I like numbers. I think my little 3 month breather was a good decision. It was kind of a bummer but I needed a break from morning sickness and being worried. I feel much more optimistic again.
I'm more excited than I thought I'd be. I was nervous about trying so I thought I'd feel more mixed about a posutive test. If I let myself get nervous about another miscarriage, I'll dissolve into a puddle of anxiety and not be able to function so I'm not doing that. I don't know that I'll be able to really feel like this is happening until I can feel this kid kick and have some real time feedback that they're ok. So it will be last minute prep when it comes to the logistical things like a nursery so I don't jinx anything. Plus there's a lot less stuff we need for the second go around.
I'm planning on some extra testing this time to ease my anxiety about it. I'm contacting my midwife about blood testing to check hormone levels the next week or 2. Then I definitely don't think I can chill until I have an early ultrasound around 6 weeks to check for a heartbeat. I think that next stretch will be the worst. My missed miscarriage with Nova happened in between the 6 week ultrasound where we saw a heartbeat and the end of the first trimester around 13 weeks. So this time I'm getting the blood test for genetic screening that can be done at 9 weeks. And very likely I'll do the NT screening which is done between 11 and 14 weeks. Hopefully after that I can rest pretty easy with Doppler heartbeats at regular appointments, starting to feel movement, and the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. All that gives me test results to look forward to and check in on. Smaller chunks of waiting.
I plan on keeping y'all updated fairly frequently. Whether good or bad. I shared the news online in a few groups immediately. I have an old due date group and several of them said they've been thinking of me, which means a lot because it sucks feeling like life kicked you out of a club you really wanted to be in. I'm hoping I'll have some blood test results next week. Wish me luck. Come on 2018, treat me better than 2017, pretty please.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)