Baby size: Lego man size. Or prune sized. 1.25 inches approzimately
Morning sickness: I was going to say better and I think that caused a jinx.
Food cravings/aversions: I don't want to speak about food right now.
Other symptom: Sleeping through the night is no longer a thing for me again. I either have to pee or just have insomnia.
Weight gain: WELL. I have a story. I'm going to throw my mother in law under the bus here because lets be honest, she likes me more than she likes Travis at this point because I return her messages and keep up the supply of Lyra photos. Travis on the other hand has either blocked his mother on his phone or its got some mysterious malfunction he can't fix. So anyway, Travis is holding the tablet during a video chat with his family and panning around the room so they can see Lyra as she runs around. I am momentarily filmed and Meemaw (her grandma name) says something to the effect of, "Oh show Miriam again, are you showing??" I could practically see Travis do the face palm, "Mom...what...noooooo, why would you say that?" Now I wasn't greatly offended but I like to make people squirm. And because it is early and I'm not really showing. Like, sure my uterus is swelling up and shoving all my organs up a bit (check out this sweet interactive organ squishing tool) but I don't really want to think about that because it's as unpleasant as it sounds. So then she back pedaled for a while ("It was just the angle!") and I'll just keep this in my back pocket in case I need ammo.
 |
| The bump shot is hard with a toddler |
Mood: I think I'm starting to feel the unpredictable crying coming on. I watched Cast Away for the first time and kind of lost my cool with the ending. Specifically, the unopened package. If you haven't watched it, the basic premise is man stuck on deserted island with a few assorted fed ex packages from his plane. He opens all but one that he keeps unopened with him for over 4 years and all the way through being rescued off his raft and returning to normal life. He returns it to sender without opening it. Who doesn't open a package for that long?? Seriously. I had to Google internet theories to find a satisfactory answer. Travis kept intentionally trying to argue with me about whether I really did know the answer to what's in the box. I was like, "Do you want me to wake you up at 2 am to argue about the contents of the box because I'm still so mad at you I can't sleep?" Sheesh.
Gender: So I really want to change this to say "sex" but then on first glance it looks like I'm writing about my sex life and that's not something I'd blog un-anonymously. So disappointingly enough the Panorama test results will not be back within the 5 to 7 calender days as advertised, they take more like 2 weeks according to their online tracker, my midwife, and various internet stories. Which is understandable but I'm mad they advertise differently. Also, I want to be clear here that the reason I'm anxious and kind of annoyed is not just I want to know if the baby is a boy or girl. I think I haven't necessarily made that very clear and I've focused on that because that's the fun part. That's not why I did this test. I think I've come off as impatient or superficial or something of the like. I did this test because I've had 2 miscarriages in the last year and I want to do what I can to know if this one is healthy or not. Finding out in 5 to 7 days meant finding out now, at 10 weeks, which when my last baby stopped having a heartbeat. Getting the all clear then would have been a huge relief. Finding out results in 2 weeks means finding out at 11 weeks after I have a week to wonder. I still should know before I hit 12 weeks which is when I actually miscarried that last baby, but its just frustrating to have been counting on reassurance that won't be coming. I haven't been dwelling on it too much, honestly, in all likelihood everything is fine. But it's hard not to wonder. The results from the genetic testing I was able to do from the last miscarriage was Turner's syndrome (only one X chromosome) which is generally a one time thing and not genetic which means we had bad luck. However, I did look into it a bit more with a much calmer, not clouded, not fresh off a miscarriage state of mind. Verrrrrry rarely Turner's can be genetic. And the last miscarriage happened from my side of things, the sole X chromosome Nova had was from Travis. The teeny fraction of Turner's syndrome that's genetically passed down happen's when the X chromosome deletion thing is isolated to the mom's egg cells. Now I'm not a geneticist and there wasn't much info I could find, but I'm pretty good at biology and I think I have the general idea. So generally, when the eggs are formed they split through meiosis and get left with one set of chromosomes (23 instead of 46 each) so that when they combine with the sperm cells (also 23 chromosomes) the little embryo gets left with the proper number of chromosomes, 46, and becomes a standard human. It is my understanding that with the genetically passed down Turners syndrome, the starter egg cell ( I don't recall the proper term) would start with 45 chromosomes (only one X chromosome) and it would be a 50/50 crap shoot if the final egg cell is the cell that ends up with the X chromosome or not. So I mean, could be possible I would think, I could still have a healthy kid (like Lyra), it would just be a luck of the draw thing. It seems to be rare enough that there isn't a bunch of research and really I don't have to worry about it. But it's that back of my mind thought that the genetic testing will put to rest soon which is why I want the dang results. So that was a long winded explanation but there you have it. I'm not just obsessing over baby boy or baby girl results, I just am slightly traumatized by the last couple pregnancies and I'd really like a reassurance that this one is free from the common chromosomal disorders. Or at the least, a heads up that things aren't going to go well. In any case, it's more pleasant to think about the penis or vagina thing.
Update: So after that rollercoaster, the Panorama results got back to my midwife last night. Everything came back low risk for the common genetic disorders! Definitely reassuring. And I know what I'm having! I'm still planning my sex reveal party for my birthday weekend to share that news.
Lyra stats: Lyra's new morning ritual is to cuddle in bed with me and watch stuff on the tablet for a while as I try and not vomit and motivate myself to wake up. Sometimes I feel guilty but I feel less so after the point Travis made when I mentioned that she's being raised by TV lately. He says it's fine because Daniel Tiger has better morals than we do anyway. Really it's for her own good.
What I miss: When Lyra was tiny enough to fit into all the old onsies I sorted through this week. Just kidding, I like her growing up. And this is why I'm having another one.
Best moment this week: The sweet freaking deals we got on baby gear because its sale and tax return season. Babies-R-Us does this trade in thing twice a year where you bring in old stuff and get 25% off a new thing. Plus combined with making a registry and opening a card, it was an insane deal. We got the stroller that we can click an infant car seat into plus a couple extras for it (the second seat kid will be a purchase later this month with additional stuff we trade in) and a car seat for Lyra (I was not a fan of the old one). All told that should have cost us nearly 1000 but we got it all for 560. Less than the cost of just the stroller itself. Basically got a solid discount on a stroller plus a free car seat. Very much a win. I didn't really want to buy the double stroller this early but the deal was too good and right now it can work perfectly nicely as a stroller just for Lyra. I also caved and bought a rainbow newborn bonnet that will only get 2 weeks of use before the baby is too big. I don't know if I've mentioned but the theme for the nursery is rainbows. Gender neutral in my book. And also rainbow baby is the term for babies after loss, the metaphorical rainbow after the storm and all. Fitting even more considering I'd jokingly nicknamed Nova, "Stormageddon" before we knew she was a she.
Looking forward to: My sex party! And also I get to hear a Doppler heartbeat in 2 weeks. And go on a birthday girls trip. March should be a good month. About damn time, 2018.
